?

Log in

Non · Sum · Qualis · Eram


I am not what I once was

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Why are there suddenly ads in my journal?!
* * *
I was doing so well yeterday. I overslept, but despite the fact I missed breakfast I was great. I didn't feel tired, I wasn't overly hungry. I was talking to a lady on the bus and we were passing the time on our last 45 minutes f transit riding laughing pitfalls and mannerisms of the commuter. I was doing pretty well. Last night I had an errant thought and it stuck with me till morning. I was cold and I wanted my own blankets. That simple.

Today I have been gone a week and I woke this morning tired and cold and starting crying because I wanted nothing more than to be in my bed with my two comforters and four baby blankets. I didn't want to get out from under the covers to the icy shock of air coming from somewhere and a heating I'm sure works only when I'm not in the room because everywhere else in the house is fine.

It was too early- it was 520 but I was going to be late despite the fact that I don't start work until 8:45 becuse I have to be at the bus stop before 7.

My uncle doesn't have a normal toaster- it is microwave, broiler, oven and toaster all in one. It takes 6 minutes to toast the first piece of not normal bread and I can't change the settings have my bread is usually hard. The second piece takes about four minutes. This doesn't leave me much time to finish my tea and i don't have a travel mug.

And then there's the 4 hours i spend commuting eac day, and my office- which is so fucking quiet and all of the chatter is work related. At least my cubicle is by a window.

I also realized that for some reason, everyone in my family has their couches and tv's spaced and angled similarly- with my left side against the back of the couch- not so here.

I know I'm really just nitpicking, but without my parents to talk to and my friends long distance the little things seem so much bigger.
Current Mood:
gloomy gloomy
* * *
Riding the subway, the clouds looked like mountains against the rising sun and I remembered that I am not home.
* * *
Every December, the Province newspaper prints a year in the stars horoscope for the following year. This horoscope was printed the last week of December 2009 (though probably written before then);


I've highlighted the relevent:Collapse )


I suppose that it is hindsight or me making it fit my circumstances but there is something there, some reality in this pseudo-science. A very large chunk of my wardrobe is stuffed in 3 suitcases and a gym bag. I have said goodbye to people that have raised me for 24 years and I am about to sleep in my own bed, with my two comforters and 4 baby blankets to keep me warm for the last night.

And as the sun rises in the morning, the sun will set on my life as I know it. Everything is about to change, will change startng from when i wake up in the morning. Everything will be different.

I have been having conversations with people trying to convince me it's going to be okay- that I will be fine and land on my feet and be the better for it. I think that they are also trying to convince themselves. I been having the same conversation with myself and I'm failing to be convinced beacuse I'm crying for the 50th time. I have to keep telling myself to suck it up and stop crying- I'm failing at that too.

I wish I knew for sure. That I will be okay and land on my feet; that it will be worth it and I will at least be better than I am if not the person I wish I were.

I'll even take a horoscope.

Current Mood:
anxious anxious
* * *
It is just so fucking cliche that leaving on a jet plane has kept popping in my head at random for the last two weeks.
* * *
* * *
Which modern invention do you think the world would be better off without?

Nuclear weapons. So many of the world's problems are made worse by the desire to hold and the threat to use nuclear weapons. Not that it's surprising- if the bully on the end of the block has the best water gun around, his enemies are going to want it to even the playing field and then the other kids on the block are going to want it for protection in case they get caught in the crossfire. I personally feel tensions would be eased and more people would be willing to compromise if total anhiliation wasn't a factor.
* * *
Sum up your day in the form of a haiku.


Had lunch with Grandma
Freckled Lemonade- so good!
Mosque, and now TV.
* * *
What's your favorite thing to show out-of-town guests when they come to visit?


La Casa Gelato, about 218 flavours of gelato/sorbetto on site. It's brilliant. The cases go all the way around the store, so there's more behind the popcorn machine. Image is from google images.









And of course, Stanley Park and English Bay, the rain forest and beach in the middle of the city. English Bay - again, from Google images.
* * *
Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?


Sloth and gluttony are the top 2 because I'm lazy and don't do much beyond eating (especially when I'm bored and being unproductive). And since I'm being honest, envy is probably number 3.
* * *
Many beloved television shows are no longer with us, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Six Feet Under, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. What defunct television show do you miss the most?


So, so many. But off the top of my head and my list, The West Wing:the Sorkin years.
* * *
* * *

Previous